Cave men & the women who love them

Quite by accident today, I picked up a book called "The Proper Care & Feeding of Husbands" by Dr. Laura Schlessinger. (I was in search of something to read and it was the only unread book I could find on the bookshelf.) There was a quote on the first page that grabbed my attention. "As a man I can tell you our needs are pretty simple. We want to be fed,we want our kids mothered, and we want lovin'." -Vince. So I asked my husband his thoughts on the matter. "Yah, that pretty much sums it up."                                                                                                              
 The book went on to say that we, as women, tend to think men are much more complicated than they actually are. Feed them, love them,and most of all respect them and they'll offer you the moon and stars. This reminded me of a conversation I had nearly 12 yrs. ago. I had been married for about a yr at the time. An acquaintance said that she always cooked a good meal for her husband. If he was home at dinner time, they'd eat together. If not, he'd heat it up when he came home from work. Either way, her job was done. At the time, I was incredulous! I remember thinking that cooking for him was NOT my job. ( Yes, I was a slightly immature 21 yr. old at the time.)                                                         
 Fast forward a few years. Let me set the scene for you. At the end of a long day I had a crying baby in my arms and a toddler clinging to my legs... while trying to clean the kitchen. After dinner my husband comes over to give me a hug and a kiss, looks me in the eyes, and says "Thank you for always having a good meal waiting for me when I get home from work. I'm glad that after a day on my feet I don't have to come home and either prepare something for myself or raid the cereal cabinet. Before you, I was married to a crockpot." I was dumbfounded. I was merely doing another chore, a necessity of every day life... and he appreciated it. Well folks, I'm like a puppy... if you pat me on the head and tell me "good job" I'll jump through hoops to earn more praise.                                                                      So here we are, 12 yrs later, I still take the time to prepare dinner, with the occasional exception of fend for yourself night. I know all his favorite meals, and the ones he merely tolerates. If I want to make him feal like the king of the castle, or for a special occasion, I know to make lasagna, garlic bread, a nice salad, and a blueberry pie.                                                   As far as the other needs, I've got them pretty well covered. Mothering the kids? Yep, I make a point to be here when they're home from school, help them with homework, teach them to get along, & how to cook etc...   Respect? Yah, I'm pretty good at that by now. I've learned not to nag and how to allow him to be the head of the household. (Trust me, there needs to be a whole separate blog to cover this.) And in general treat him like a man and not one of the kids. And lovin'? I'm not one to kiss and tell so let's not go there. All I can say is we need to remove our husbands from the bottom of our "to do" list and make them a priority.                                    So ladies, lets let our men be men and accept that's the way they were created to be. Think caveman here... that basic.  Need shelter, food good, fire good, and a warm body goood. 

He Brews

 I love my husband, sleep, and coffee. In that order... I've always been a night owl and until recently, struggled with insomnia. So I truly value a good nights rest. Those morning people drive me nuts. You know the type. They bounce out of bed with a smile on their face,whistling a happy tune, as sunshine pours through their pores. I secretly envy them.
 On any given day you're likely to find me burrowed beneath a mound of blankets blissfully unaware of the world around me. Until that blasted alarm blares and disturbs my slumber. Then I'll grudgingly throw back the covers and stumble to the coffee pot. I can be reasonably pleasant if I'm able to sleep until 7 a.m. But if I wake one minute before that... watch out!
 So... this year our eldest daughter began jr. high. No big deal, right? Oh, I forgot to mention she needs to get up earlier, 6:00!!! For the first week of school I tried to wake up early. Really, I did. I made sure she was up on time,had everything she needed for the day ahead, and even prepared a hot breakfast. Then promptly passed out on the couch until our other kid needed to be up @ 7:30.
 James is usually awake by 6:00 anyway. So I pleaded my case, Would he be willing to take the early shift with kid #1? I'd GLADLY wake up with child #2. He agreed! The first piece of marital advice that he received was "Happy wife, happy life." I guess it stuck with him :D 
 Now he rises with the sun and I get to sleep in till' 7:30. Now that's what I call love and devotion. Best of all, there's a freshly brewed pot of coffee waiting for me. Ah, Heaven in  a cup! 

      

                                                                                                                                                                               

And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds. Hebrews 10:24                                   

 It's the little things in life that mean so much. What may seem small to you could be a big deal to someone else. Look at your spouse. What can you do to brighten their day, or just show you care? Take out the trash without nagging. Make a favorite meal. Rub a pair of tired feet. And be sure to let them know how much you appreciate all they do for you. Hey James, thanks for the brew!
 

  We live in a disposable society, with a here today gone tomorrow mentality. Too often, we are  seeking something newer, better, and more exciting. We are also becoming alarmingly accustomed to instant gratification. Fast food or t.v. dinners in place of a home cooked meal. An upgrade for your new iphone. Diet ads that declare you can lose 30 lbs in a month. Are you following me yet? So where does this lead us? Sadly, many people are seeking to "upgrade" their spouse... I'm  tired of seeing people just give up on their relationships. Someone else may look more exciting now, but trust me honey, when the shine wears off you'll have the same issues w/ your new mate.
 **** DISCLAIMER****  I am NOT saying there aren't legitimate reasons for separation or divorce. Especially in cases of abuse. Who am I to talk? No one really. I'm not rich or famous. Nor do I have a counseling degree. That said, I hope to create a community of people who are willing to lift one another up. Instead of giving worldly answers like "Just walk out, you deserve better!" I hope we can encourage one another by listening, caring, and praying for one anothers' marriages.  

 The idea for this blog came from a friend who said I should write about something I'm passionate about. She meant interior decorating, scrapbooking, or baking I'm sure. But the more that I thought about it... I love my husband. And I want others to find happiness in their relationships. 
 I've always loved the country song "When I said I do" I meant that I will be till the end of all time, be faithful and true, devoted to you, that's what I had in mind, when I said I do. Hence the blog title ;)